15 January 2025
A few months ago I set out to find the best handful of books around community building. I wasn’t able to find any reliable resources or lists around the topic, so I wanted to share what I have found to be especially helpful so far as I put together my notes on Crafting.Community.
What I found were some influential books on operations, some great ones around communities as marketing vehicles, and some even better ones around truly connecting with other humans. The ones I’ve listed within this post are the best within their categories that I could get my hands on. I also had to rule some out for being too dated, too religious, or too analytical.
”Trust is everything. At the heart of this enablement is trust. As we have already discussed, community is fundamentally a social economy, and its participants build up social capital via their contributions. With social capital being, by its very nature, a product of social interaction, trust is critical. If people in a community don’t trust you, you will be met with caution and you will struggle to build your social capital.”
—Jono Bacon
If I had to only suggest a single book around the topic, this would probably be the one. The foundational teaching elements are solid and there’s a decent mix of time spent on both hard and soft skills alike—though heavier on operations and logistics for sure. Where I found it to especially shine was within sections about leading in the open, governance, and conflict resolution. It’s a large book—a community building bible—but it’s all quality, actionable writing and zero fluff.
Finally, this book, along with his other book, “People Powered”, are a must for community and open source folks working in tech specifically.
”The kinds of gatherings that meaningfully help others are governed by what I call generous authority. A gathering run on generous authority is run with a strong, confident hand, but it is run selflessly, for the sake of others. Generous authority is imposing in a way that serves your guests…It spares them from the domination of some guests by other guests that the dinner host unwittingly enabled. It wards off pretenders who threaten purpose.”
—Priya Parker
Another must read, but for different reasons. While this book is primarily focused on hosting gatherings (think family events and dinner parties), the author’s philosophies around bringing people together are profound and far-reaching. This is the book to read before you start a community, if possible. It will help you understand your role as the leader of the group and foster a sense of motivation and pride when working towards a solid purpose.
My favorite takeaway from this one has to be “Don’t be a chill host”, meaning this role is constant and ongoing. You can’t sit back and relax and assume guests/community members will converse and be happy. Even if the vibe is “chill”, your role behind and in front of the scenes is anything but. I will be reading this one every so often to make sure it truly sticks.
”As a feeling, belonging is experienced internally as a first-person experience. These experiences are difficult for a third-person observer to measure, but that difficulty makes the experience no less critical. Many first-person experiences important in relationships (and the world) don’t lend themselves to quantified measuring, such as a mother’s love or the trust in your neighbor…A critical takeaway here is that creating community involves far more than offering a trade or a transactional relationship.”
—Carrie Melissa Jones and Charles H. Vogl
Luckily, this book speaks to a broad group and is not strictly through the lens of brand communities. I think that considering communities as a way to grow business is not inherently bad or insincere. Sustainability is important to serve more people and have the greatest impact possible, and part of that is potentially considering finances and viewing members as customers we’d like to turn into loyal fans.
Carrie and Charles walk the reader through empty vs meaningful engagement, how to support organizational goals, marketing, member motivation, retention, growth, measurement, and more, with loads of real-world case studies as this all applies to large brands—it’s a great balance of emotion and business.
”And then the crisis of connection came. We’re living in the middle of some sort of vast emotional, relational, and spiritual crisis. It is as if people across society have lost the ability to see and understand one another, thus producing a culture that can be brutalizing and isolating.”
—David Brooks
The inclusion of this book on this list might take a bit more explaining on my part, so here it goes. Community work is about people. It’s about truly knowing and connecting with people—a group can sense a shift the minute this priority takes a back seat to unsupported growth at all costs, and manipulation towards an unethical end, for example. This book powerfully and elegantly walks the reading through why connection matters and how to break through specific personality types or emotions with empathy.
Logistics, planning, and marketing are important, but none of it matters if we’re not working to genuinely know and connect with the people we want to gather with. Enabling someone to feel seen is a genuine superpower and the impact this can have on their lives and yours is immeasurable.
”Intent—in the context of inclusivity—is the idea that we’re doing something we think will help others. Impact is our action’s actual effect on someone, how it makes them feel. Unfortunately, intent and impact are frequently not the same. You may have the best intentions, but if your actions make others feel differently than you’d intended, there can be consequences.”
—Sameera Kapila
This is a brief but information-dense book that focuses on how to better consider inclusion and member safety within communities. There’s a dark side to communities for many people. This book shines a bright light on this, with examples, and talks about why we need to do better and how.
I found the code of conduct section to be especially helpful. Not all communities and events are created equal, and yet we so often we copy and paste these with little to no customization. These guide each community’s behavior and should be crystal clear and proactive over reactive.
”Tribes make our lives better. And leading a tribe is the best life of all.”
—Seth Godin
”Management is about manipulating resources to get a known job done…Leadership, on the other hand, is about creating change that you believe in.”
—Seth Godin
I couldn’t stand to not include this book here. It’s short and does not focus on practical advice or logistics, but it shines as an overall hype book for people currently or aspiring to lead communities. It’s full of empowering quotes to pull and will leave you feeling strong and ready to take action.
I’ve added these recommendations to our Wiggle Work Bookshop, so if you buy them from there we get 10% which helps keep our community server warm and boosted.
